May 2011
4 posts
Tennessee Ain't Gay (Also: Don't Say Gay)
Let’s consider the sanctity of marriage through the lens of Republican heterosexuals. These righteous warriors have long practiced what they’ve preached: some hot, monogamous, man-on-biblically-devoted-woman action. Like Republican Congressman Bob Barr (Georgia) who introduced the Defense of Marriage Act. He was deeply concerned that, “the flames of hedonism, the flames of...
Not With Bang But A Whimper...
According to the scientific organization Nervous Evangalists With Calculators (or this guy) tomorrow is the end of the world. I understand why some religious folks get giddy at the thought of the end of days. It’s kind of the big payoff, the definitive moment when they say “we were right, you were wrong, Jesus is here in his spaceship so we’re gonna jet…” Still,...
By Any Other Name...
A partial list of the “deliver to” names I used whilst ordering take-out at my last job.
Dr. Cornwall J. Spendthrift Martine Giggensworth Waldorf J. Stadler Dr. Theodore Wallingford IV Jimmy Beluga Orlando Scampington John Henry Bonham Steve Zissou Kingsley “Ned” Zissou Chaz Tenenbaum Tom Buchanon James Gatz Jake Barnes Tyberion Xavier Tynesworth...
Florida vs. 2nd Amendment Hating Doctors
Welcome to the first of many installments of “The Worst State In America”. Our inaugural issue focuses on the enchanted kingdom of Florida.
From a state best known for bungling election results and electing convicted crooks comes a heroic stand against the most insidious of evils: pediatricians. Thanks to a strong push by Florida Republicans, the NRA, and a helmet-haired cat...
