AMERICAN GUY
Adam Carolla is the living embodiment of comedic mediocrity. He wasn’t the funny kid in the back of the classroom who got away with irreverent jokes, not the kid who got cut some slack because he was pretty smart & clever. No, Carolla was the nasally mook who parroted stale dirty jokes and showed off his dad’s Playboy. Rocking the safe and recycled humor. Maybe you laughed a bit but deep down you know he was walking a well-worn path: hey, bros & chicks are different and bros like sports & beer and ladies, stop yer nagging already. Push the envelope, AC.
But clearly a lot of people like the cat. He’s had a semi-successful career on radio call-in shows (Loveline), tv programs (The Man Show), and the interwebs (The Adama Carolla Podcast). Maybe people like seeing/hearing a fountain of neutered snark that isn’t far removed from their own aspirations & abilities. There’s something nice about thinking, “yeah, I get the jokes and furthermore, could have come up with that bit myself.” It’d be like watching a fat Tom Brady limp-wrist a few passes for short yardage. Puts you right in the game.
Carolla recently hit the newswaves with an anti-Occupy rant that was impressive in both its scope and stupidity (full text of it is here). Here’s his explanation for why the kids are raging against the machine:
They’re feeling shame. They’ve been shamed by life, because they haven’t been *prepared* for life. They’ve been told…they’ve had so much smoke blown up their fucking collective asses, by the time they get out in the *real* world … and all of those lies that were told to you, to your parents, about how special you are, and how no one was created like you, and all this bullshit advertisements – Nike, and all this “There’s just one you”, and “You take it all”, and “It’s your world”, and all that Reebok shit – doesn’t mean shit when you get to the real world and you’re just looked at as peon number 27 who’s putting in an application and guess what?
And furthermore, we’ve lost the respect we once had for fine motor vehicles (and those who drive them). Behold: the source of class warfare!
It’s this envy and shame, and there’s gonna be a lot more of it, ’cause it *used* to be – back in the day – father’d be walkin’ his son down the sideblock and he’d see a guy go by in his Rolls Royce, and the father would say: “There goes Mr. Jenkins. Look up to him. That guy works hard. That guy built a company. That guy built an empire. Now look at him. He’s got his Rolls Royce. He’s drivin’ up the hill.” But what do we do *now*? Now it’s like: “Oh, look at him. Look at him. Does he need that car? Why’s he need that car? I’m drivin’ a fuckin’ Chevette! Why’s *he* get to drive that fuckin’ car, you know? Let’s go up there and throw a rock at it.”
Fine points indeed. To summarize the entire extensive rant: if you’re not successful, it’s because you’re a spineless hater who wants handouts. Furthermore, anyone who complains about economic inequality is a self-entitled whiner.
Yet if you browse the very interwebs that Mr. Carolla utilizes, you inevitably encounter some interesting ideas (like the ones found here and here). Here’s a quick assemblage of facts:
America has the highest income inequality of any country in the developed world. CEO pay has skyrocketed 300% since 1990. Average “production worker” pay has increased 4% while the minimum wage has dropped. The average CEO made 343 times more money than the average American did last year. The share of national income going to the top 1% has doubled since 1979. The top 0.01% — the super elite — claim a greater share of the income in America than any time on record.
The number of “low income jobs” in the U.S. has risen steadily over the past 30 years and they now account for 41 percent of all jobs in the United States. Approximately half of all American workers make $25,000 a year or less. The poorest 50% of all Americans collectively own just 2.5% of all the wealth in the United States. Wages as a percent of the economy have dropped to an all-time low. Economic upward mobility is increasingly an American myth.
Moral of the story: stop being oppressed by feel-good parenting & coaching, crushing inequality, persistent unemployment rates & stagnant wages, the rising cost of education & healthcare, and reality in general. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps (or, when available, Jimmy Kimmel’s coattails) and make something of yourself.
Too bad you can’t throw a brick at a podcast.
